Lies are powerful. I have seen it in my own life and those [willing to share] around me.
Sunday overwhelmed my emotions. God overwhelmed my emotions. I am not sure I stopped crying from the first song until it was over. At one point God's presence was so tremendous I struggled to maintain the little composure I had. I am still absorbing Sunday's message. I am basking in the way the Holy Spirit works.
I am so thankful to have a God that can continue healing me and loving me. Sunday was another way of God revealing His purpose for me on this earth, revealing His love to my heart and teaching me the path to rest for my soul. I am so amazed at how much He loves me, how much He wants to give me and how the lies I have believed keep me from Him; lies that I still struggle with. The very idea that "I am worth being healed" is a message from God because that certainly would not come from the my mental tapes.
I have asked God to show me what rest looks like. I have asked Him to give it to me, to calm my head, my body and my stomach. I have experienced times of rest with Him but never while physically being still. There is a fear in solitude that I probably could explain if I allowed myself to be still and think about it, lol. Sunday He answered my "show me what rest looks like" by telling me that I was enough for Him. I didn't need to be more for Him and I certainly was not less than He needed. Rest is in allowing myself to let Him love me and in turn to love myself the same way; with compassion. I am relearning that very thing on deeper and deeper levels as my healing continues.
I am excited for the opportunity to become who I am in HIM. I am beginning to think I might like her.
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