Do I believe that God is a loving Father who is committed to my deepest well-being, that He has the right to use everything that is in me for whatever purposes He deems best and that surrendering my will and my life entirely to Him will bring me the deepest joy and fulfillment I can know this side of heaven?
I want to believe this but I cant say I trust it and live it - at least not today.
Wednesday, March 26, 2008
Wednesday, March 19, 2008
He pursues us
What is it in my being that hides the fight and desire to be loved and accepted by God? I watch the Holy Spirit pursue me, pursue those I lead and pursue those I follow. His faithful chase is not hindered by my hatred, ambivalence, lack of faith or refusal to trust Him.
"Prayer of any kind and about any subject delights God's heart. The Lord desires for us to want Him, adore Him, thank Him, need Him, and love Him." [Dan Allendar] This sounds alot like what I want from Him. I hope to be desireable to Him.
That is an amazing thought, idea and fact. This is a fact in my life as I have watched God reward my attention, faithfulness and pursuit of Him. I have felt the purity of His love and yet I still struggle trusting Him. I ask Him to continue to reveal, conform, instruct, guide, heal, bless, convict and comfort me.
I am learning that I can trust Him to enter my situations to accomplish what He desires. I don't know why or how but I do know God intensely loves me without provocation.
"Prayer of any kind and about any subject delights God's heart. The Lord desires for us to want Him, adore Him, thank Him, need Him, and love Him." [Dan Allendar] This sounds alot like what I want from Him. I hope to be desireable to Him.
That is an amazing thought, idea and fact. This is a fact in my life as I have watched God reward my attention, faithfulness and pursuit of Him. I have felt the purity of His love and yet I still struggle trusting Him. I ask Him to continue to reveal, conform, instruct, guide, heal, bless, convict and comfort me.
I am learning that I can trust Him to enter my situations to accomplish what He desires. I don't know why or how but I do know God intensely loves me without provocation.
Tuesday, March 11, 2008
He humbles Himself
I am overwhelmed daily by the way my Heavenly Father loves me and proves Himself gentle. He never takes the likely route, He does not follow the pattern I think he'd choice, He does not act like my earthly father, He explodes through all my expectation of love.
In His desire for me to know He is safe He humbles Himself before me. I dont even know how to explain that. I find Him loving me towards him. He often places Himself at my feet longing for my attention and love. I stands before Him in tears as I watch my Creator reassure my heart and restore my soul. I am beginning to believe and recognize the healing power of His touch. How He does this Overwhelms my emotions and I do not understand it.
I am broken by His love. I am captivated by His voice. I am overwhelmed byt he life He breathes into me. I long to remain before Him every minute of my day. He knows my fears and assures me they are not from Him.
I hope, one day, to have the strength to serve Him with the same authentic humility; on my knees, before Him thanking Him for His attention and love.
A thankful child.
In His desire for me to know He is safe He humbles Himself before me. I dont even know how to explain that. I find Him loving me towards him. He often places Himself at my feet longing for my attention and love. I stands before Him in tears as I watch my Creator reassure my heart and restore my soul. I am beginning to believe and recognize the healing power of His touch. How He does this Overwhelms my emotions and I do not understand it.
I am broken by His love. I am captivated by His voice. I am overwhelmed byt he life He breathes into me. I long to remain before Him every minute of my day. He knows my fears and assures me they are not from Him.
I hope, one day, to have the strength to serve Him with the same authentic humility; on my knees, before Him thanking Him for His attention and love.
A thankful child.
Sunday, March 9, 2008
what do i bring ?
I have been a christian for 25 years. I remember listening to Sandi Patty sing in front of thousands of teenagers and feeling that I wanted the God she had.
I have since pushed and pulled God into my life. The prodigal son has little on me. I suspect my rebellious time could certainly scare the meek and wow the strong. The amazing thing - when i surrendered to God's love he gave celebration. I didn't realize how much He missed me. I turned back to a God that embraced me with open arms.
I have been the receiptant of His love and it is more than enough for all of me. I share this blog with the hope to share authentically about a Lord that has loved His child back to Him. He humbles me with His grace, He loves my heart and hold it in his hand and He has yet to give up on me.
I am amazed by such committment. The story gets better.
Amy
I have since pushed and pulled God into my life. The prodigal son has little on me. I suspect my rebellious time could certainly scare the meek and wow the strong. The amazing thing - when i surrendered to God's love he gave celebration. I didn't realize how much He missed me. I turned back to a God that embraced me with open arms.
I have been the receiptant of His love and it is more than enough for all of me. I share this blog with the hope to share authentically about a Lord that has loved His child back to Him. He humbles me with His grace, He loves my heart and hold it in his hand and He has yet to give up on me.
I am amazed by such committment. The story gets better.
Amy
Words for these intense feelings
Can I possible have words to describe what I feel in the presence of Christ?
In Paul’s letter to the Ephesians he says “I pray that the eyes of your heart may be enlightened in order that you may know the HOPE to which He has called you, the riches of His glorious inheritance in His people, and HIS INCOMPARABLY GREAT POWER FOR US WHO BELIEVE. THAT POWER IS THE SAME AS THE MIGHTY STRENGTH HE EXERTED WHEN HE RAISED CHRIST FROM THE DEAD and seated Him at the right hand in the heavenly realms.” Get ready here comes the kicker…..
Paul continues in 3: 16-21 “And I pray that you, being rooted and established in love, may have power, together with all the Lord's people, to grasp how wide and long and high and deep is the love of Christ, and to know this love that surpasses knowledge—that you may be filled to the measure of all the fullness of God. Now to him who is able to do immeasurably more than all we ask or imagine, according to his power that is at work within us”.
I can tell you know how it feels. I feel that unparalleled power, the same power that GOD exerted to raise His son from the dead HEALS me too. I am experiencing how wide, long, high and deep is the love of Christ; I am filled beyond all measure. Eureka! It is not that I didn’t already know these things but my feelings have words - I have been validated! The love of my God was given to me and then confirmed in God’s word.
“It is like the breath of Jesus is right here in this room.”
Amy
In Paul’s letter to the Ephesians he says “I pray that the eyes of your heart may be enlightened in order that you may know the HOPE to which He has called you, the riches of His glorious inheritance in His people, and HIS INCOMPARABLY GREAT POWER FOR US WHO BELIEVE. THAT POWER IS THE SAME AS THE MIGHTY STRENGTH HE EXERTED WHEN HE RAISED CHRIST FROM THE DEAD and seated Him at the right hand in the heavenly realms.” Get ready here comes the kicker…..
Paul continues in 3: 16-21 “And I pray that you, being rooted and established in love, may have power, together with all the Lord's people, to grasp how wide and long and high and deep is the love of Christ, and to know this love that surpasses knowledge—that you may be filled to the measure of all the fullness of God. Now to him who is able to do immeasurably more than all we ask or imagine, according to his power that is at work within us”.
I can tell you know how it feels. I feel that unparalleled power, the same power that GOD exerted to raise His son from the dead HEALS me too. I am experiencing how wide, long, high and deep is the love of Christ; I am filled beyond all measure. Eureka! It is not that I didn’t already know these things but my feelings have words - I have been validated! The love of my God was given to me and then confirmed in God’s word.
“It is like the breath of Jesus is right here in this room.”
Amy
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