Surrender looks nothing like I suspected. Offering my life as a sacrifice to Christ has had little to do with sacrifice and more to do with freedom than I would ever have imagined or suspected.
As I have fought to define myself in Christ, as His child, I have found it a relief to lay down my old life's practices; worry, doubt, anxiety, striving and fear. Oh don't get me wrong I pick those up occasionally, the difference this go around is I run right to Him with them.
I have found Him readily available even joyful to take my burdens. Life turns in it's normal fashion between pride and pain. I have found such freedom in handing them to Him.
It feels like I'm moving, it feels like I'm living, it feels like I'm breathing for the very first time. I have stated in former blogs that I have seen with my own eyes and heard with my own ears the heart of God. I am in love with the purest of lovers and I find great comfort and security in Him.
It is during the times in which I pick up my old practices and during the times when I experience the pains of this world that I find myself deeper into the heart of God and that is a blessing.
The last few days I have been tearfully thankful that God has shown Himself gently persistent, unfailing, confident and everything I need Him to be today.
