Sunday's message HIT ME

Lies are powerful. I have seen it in my own life and those [willing to share] around me.

Sunday overwhelmed my emotions. God overwhelmed my emotions. I am not sure I stopped crying from the first song until it was over. At one point God's presence was so tremendous I struggled to maintain the little composure I had. I am still absorbing Sunday's message. I am basking in the way the Holy Spirit works.

I am so thankful to have a God that can continue healing me and loving me. Sunday was another way of God revealing His purpose for me on this earth, revealing His love to my heart and teaching me the path to rest for my soul. I am so amazed at how much He loves me, how much He wants to give me and how the lies I have believed keep me from Him; lies that I still struggle with. The very idea that "I am worth being healed" is a message from God because that certainly would not come from the my mental tapes.


I have asked God to show me what rest looks like. I have asked Him to give it to me, to calm my head, my body and my stomach. I have experienced times of rest with Him but never while physically being still. There is a fear in solitude that I probably could explain if I allowed myself to be still and think about it, lol. Sunday He answered my "show me what rest looks like" by telling me that I was enough for Him. I didn't need to be more for Him and I certainly was not less than He needed. Rest is in allowing myself to let Him love me and in turn to love myself the same way; with compassion. I am relearning that very thing on deeper and deeper levels as my healing continues.

I am excited for the opportunity to become who I am in HIM. I am beginning to think I might like her.

Captivating to Christ

About 3 years ago I heard a speaker offer his opinion of God's love for us. He mentioned that God pursues us everyday, interrupting our thoughts, in hopes of gaining our attention. He said I am God's desire, I am the object of God's affection and I can bring delight to the universe creator. I was drawn in by this possiblity. My spiritual pursuit was to prove that man right; my soul needed to be chased and filled by God, my heart needed to be healed by God and my head desire His peace.

In short this journey has been answered in many ways; through scripture, additional readings and through prayer. God has assured me numerous times that I am his. God tells me I am never alone that he is always with me and God begs for every ounce of my heart, mind and body.

I am now (again) validated. My desire to know and hope in my Heavenly Father is satisfied on a deeper level. Read "Captivated" by John and Stasi Eldridge and tell me your reaction. I am in awe that the King of Kings is so passionately interested in my heart that he pursues me with jealousy. He is in love with me. I melt His heart with my smile.

Let me breathe this in. I have lived this. I have felt this. Today I have the words to explain it.