Freedom, Joy and Peace

Have you ever truly allowed yourself to love and be loved?

Have you ever found yourself at a place in a relationship where you truly felt accepted? A relationship in which you were painfully honest about your struggles, wounds, past, failures and insecurities?

In your efforts to be authentic you may have had to prepare yourself to be rejected only to find out the lies that rattled around in your head weren't that ugly after you shared them. The deepest darkest part of your painful heart wasn't bottomless after all. You allowed someone else to see inside your soul and they confirmed the pain but didn't agree with the lies you told yourself as a result.

I found myself in this predicament with God. I have grown to trust and love Him. He has become my Heavenly Father; a term I do not use lightly. God has asked to see my inner most pains. He has asked me to allow Him to redefine the lies I have told myself and the way I view myself. This was done through my willingness to expose my shame, past, failures and pains to Him. This is a journey that is measured in years and the trust that God can handle the tough questions and accusations of His wounded child.

Did I invite Him into anything He didn't already know, of course not, but we walked through my darkest places together and He is proved to me all the things I have heard about Him were true. God is pure love; a love that is deeper, higher and wider than my mind can contain. I am more secure and confident in the fact that God loves me unconditionally than I have ever been. I am in a relationship in which I don't question the other's love or acceptance of me and to say the least I FEEL FREE! I have shown God all of me.

I am finding the most amazing self compassion and forgiveness I have ever felt. God has given me His joy and peace. You can not imagine how Big God has shown up; never again will I doubt His love for me and my passion for Him.

The things I have hoped for. The claims I have read in books, heard speaker and preachers claim are now my truth. The truth about the heart of my God as become my truth. I have lived in the tender heart of God. I found Jesus and the bottom of my pain and I am more in love than I could have ever imagined.

I realize details are missing but the details are not the important part. The important part is I have freedom, joy and peace - given to me by the creator of my heart. The most amazing part of it all is God has searched my heart, He has found a genuine heart for Him, He knows I love Him and He feels blessed.

The fact that I can bless God is humbling ~ oh how He loves us.